When I'm With You Read online

  “I’ll make sure you get to work and ready to take on all the bad guys.” His thumb brushed her bottom lip. “Say yes. I want you. Can’t you tell?”

  His slow easy grin ignited the smoldering flame in her center to a four-alarm blaze.

  “You are a charmer, Rafe Lawson,” she purred. “I finish at five. I can be to you by six.”

  He hung his hands on her waist. “I’ll send Alice home and fix dinner myself.”

  “Okay.”

  The loud clearing of Kerry’s throat had them both turn in her direction. She was fully dressed and leaning against the frame of the archway.

  “I can only conclude that whatever needed to be worked out got worked out. But...” She focused on Avery. “You’re going to be late.”

  “Oh no. What time is it?”

  “6:15.”

  She looked at Rafe with apology written all over her face. “I’m sorry. I’ve got to get ready.”

  “Yeah, yeah. Go. I’ll see you later.” He kissed her one last time as if they were the only two people in the world. “Six.” He released her and walked toward the front door. “Thanks,” he quietly said to Kerry as he passed her. The door closed softly behind him.

  “All is forgiven I take it?” Kerry asked, turning toward Avery.

  Avery blew out a breath, still wrapped in the essence of Rafe. “I...we’ll see.” She looked at her friend. “I want to try. I need to.”

  “Did you tell him what happened at work?”

  “No. I’ll figure it out on my own. Like you said, it’ll work out.”

  “Good. But, girl.” She turned her head toward the closed door. “If that man came for me, I’m going with him. I’m just saying. Humph.”

  Avery burst out laughing and draped her arm across Kerry’s shoulder. “I know that’s right.”

  * * *

  Even though she was temporarily stuck behind a desk, it wasn’t as awful as she’d thought. There was plenty to keep her busy. At least she had something wonderful to look forward to at the end of her shift. The director had reassigned her to scheduling—from detail assignments to training and mapping where every agent was and with whom. It was one of those detail-oriented assignments that she was actually quite skilled at.

  Toward the end of the day she was summoned to the director’s office. She braced herself for more bad news.

  “Come in and have a seat, Agent Richards.”

  Avery sat. Was this the other shoe? She lifted her chin and focused on the director.

  “I’ve had an opportunity to consider what transpired at the Watergate. I’m fully aware that it was not of your making. You’re a damned good agent. One of our best. But what happened could have seriously jeopardized the safety and security of your charge.”

  “Yes, sir.” She continued to look him square in the eye.

  “There is no easy solution.”

  Her heart began to race.

  “For the next month I want you off detail. You’ll work in-house. Give the vultures time to set their sights on something else. When I feel it’s appropriate I’ll see about getting you back out into active field duty.”

  She swallowed. “Yes, sir.”

  Director Fischer linked his thick fingers together on top of the desk. “We should be making a decision on the promotion in the next month or so. Keeping you out of the headlines will help in that arena.” He cleared his throat. “I will be honest with you, Agent Richards, the hiring committee is very concerned that with you marrying someone of such high profile, it may be a major liability. We’re weighing all the options.”

  She kept her expression neutral. “Thank you, sir.”

  He nodded solemnly. “Keep doing a good job, Agent Richards.”

  “I will, sir. Thank you.” She rose, turned and left. She tried not to let her anxiety show on her face as she passed several colleagues in the corridor. She was still being considered. At least that was something. She beat down the ugly feeling of resentment. Why should falling in love possibly cost her everything she’d worked for? One thing that she could count on was that Rafe would make her forget all the things she didn’t want to think about.

  * * *

  When Avery arrived at Rafe’s home, neither wasted any time. Rafe greeted her with a kiss that weakened her knees, plied her with a chilled glass of wine and then lulled her to a scented bath. He took great pleasure in undressing her, of rediscovering the rose-petal softness of her skin before he helped her into the deep jet tub.

  He knelt down next to her as she sank into the steamy, scented water. She sighed, her body and mind succumbing to pure bliss. Rafe took the blue sponge and gently washed her back, squeezing the hot, sudsy water over her shoulders and down the rise of her breasts, which peeked out above the water. He leaned in and kissed her on the back of her neck. “Want some company?” he whispered. He nibbled her ear while his free hand wandered across the swell of her breast, before diving down into the water between her legs.

  Avery drew in a quick breath as his thumb brushed across her swelling clit. “I’d...love it.”

  Rafe stood and tugged his fitted black T-shirt over his head, tossed it aside. He pulled on the string of his gray sweatpants and let them pool at his feet.

  Avery’s breath stopped in her chest, awed as always by the sheer perfection of his milk-chocolate body coming into full view. Her teeth taunted her bottom lip while she watched him, over her shoulder, step into the tub and ease down. His long, muscular legs straddled either side of her. She felt his growing erection press against her lower back.

  Rafe lifted the thick, wild spirals of her hair from her neck and placed hot kisses there and down along her spine. His arms looped around her waist, fanned out and separated her thighs. “Bend your knees,” he whispered in her ear. “And lean back against me.”

  She glanced at him over her shoulder and caught the glint of fire in his eyes. She bent her knees and leaned back.

  His large hands slid up and down the inside of her thighs, the water making the path smooth as silk. His fingers spread across her belly and up to the underside of her breasts before sliding back into the water to brush and tease her exposed clit.

  Avery whimpered. Her body trembled ever so slightly.

  Rafe eased her further down toward the faucets. He cupped her breasts and teased the taut nipples until her moans rose in shuddering bursts.

  Avery rested her head against his chest, closed her eyes and succumbed to his pleasuring.

  “Rest your heels on either side of the tub,” Rafe ground out.

  Avery followed his instructions.

  He eased her forward a bit more until she was spread wide and vulnerable. He clasped her tightly around the waist and turned on the jets. The warm water gushed out and felt like a million massaging fingers. The intensity of the onslaught of rushing water against her fully exposed, totally stimulated clit made her see stars.

  “Ohhhh!”

  “Hmmm, relax...enjoy,” he cooed, holding her in place.

  Rafe reached around and held her thighs firmly apart. The water pulsed steadily against her. Her limbs trembled. Her moans turned to whimpers. She gripped the side of the tub. Her breathing escalated as mind-altering pleasure whipped through her.

  “Go with it, darlin’,” he whispered.

  She struggled to breathe as the first wave crashed against her. Her cry mixed with the steam-scented air. Rafe slipped two fingers inside of her, and lights burst behind her eyes.

  “Ahhhh, ahhhh!” Her hips rose and fell, thrashed against his hand and the power of the water as jolts of pleasure roared through her veins. Shudders ran up and down her body as wave after wave of release erupted until she was weak.

  * * *

  Avery smiled as she listened to Rafe singing in off-key splendor in the kitchen while she tugged the sheets off the bed and straightened up his
bedroom the following morning. She shoved the sheets inside of a pillowcase and went to the walk-in closet to get a clean set, and nearly tripped over what Rafe called his “go-bag.” She picked it up to put it on the shelf, out of the way, and a folded set of papers fell out on the floor. She reached down to pick them up and noticed the lawyer letterhead. She didn’t consider herself a snoop in the sense that she went around looking for things, but her instincts kicked in and she opened the papers.

  She frowned as the words spilled out in front of her. The more she read, the more furious she became. A prenuptial agreement! She couldn’t believe that Rafe would do something like this—to her. Did he think she was some kind of gold digger who was only after him for his money! What the hell.

  Her temple began to pound.

  “Hey, cher, I whipped us up some—”

  “What is this?” She waved the papers in front of him. “A damned prenup, Rafe. Are you kidding me?”

  Rafe held up his hands. “Take it easy.”

  “Easy! Easy! No. I won’t take it easy.” She paced in front of him. “Isn’t it enough that your family tried to hijack the wedding and, for all intents and purposes, I’ve been demoted to desk duty because of the damned press following me around. That’s my life, my career that I built. On hold. And let’s not forget your ex-lover that has risen from the dead!” Her eyes filled with tears. “And now this!” She shook the pages violently in the air and then threw them on the floor. She slowly shook her head. “I’m the one that has had to adapt, change, give things up. Me.” Her chest heaved with emotion. “I can’t do this.” Her throat clenched.

  His countenance tightened. “What are you saying?”

  She faced him. Tears ran down her cheeks. “I can’t do this... I can’t marry you.”

  “Avery.” He took a step toward her. She held up her hand to halt him.

  “Marrying you... I’d gain a husband but lose myself. Between your family and that,” she pointed to the papers on the floor, “and...my career going down in flames...” She swiped at her eyes. “I can’t.” She looked down at the diamond blazing on her finger. She twisted the band and slid the ring from her finger.

  Rafe stared at her. Stunned. Hurt. But shock was quickly replaced with anger. “I should have known better. I should have kept living my life. My damned life! Whatever made me think that this would be different?” He snorted a sound of disgust. “Well, you got your wish. This is what you wanted all along—a way out. You got it.” He stared at her hard. “Keep the ring.” He whirled away, stormed down the hall and out.

  The door rattled in its frame. The next sound she heard was the roar of his motorcycle.

  She stood under the arch of the closet door, gripped the diamond in her palm, slipped to her knees and wept.

  * * *

  Dazed, spent, she finally pulled herself together, gathered her things and left Rafe’s home. She couldn’t go home, didn’t want to. She went to Kerry’s place in DC, instead. She was numb as she moved through the space like a ghost—disembodied from the real world.

  What had she done? Rafe was right. She had been looking for a way out and he provided her with all the ammunition she needed. Her secret, her fear of what might really be wrong with her, drove her decision. If she was honest with herself, she knew that to be true. Rafe had been down the road of losing someone before and it nearly broke him. She couldn’t do that to him again. It was best this way. Her head pounded. She pressed the heels of her palms against her eyes. Her shoulders shook as sobs overtook her again.

  When Kerry came home several hours later she was beyond surprised to see her friend curled up on the love seat.

  “Hey there, I didn’t expect you back.” She tossed her purse on the couch. “Where’s Rafe?” She pulled off her jacket and added it to the couch.

  Avery curled into an even tighter knot on the love seat.

  “A, what’s going on?”

  She slowly lifted her chin from her chest. “It’s over. The wedding is off.”

  “What are you talking about?” She plopped down on the side chair. “What happened?”

  In bits and pieces Avery told Kerry about the prenup, the fight and her declaration. For quite some time after she’d finished, Kerry sat in silence. Finally she spoke.

  “What is really going on, Avery? This isn’t about a piece of paper.”

  “Yes, it is,” she insisted.

  “Don’t b.s. me. I’m your friend. You love that man. And he loves you. You were willing to go the extra mile when he explained about Janae. But you freak out over a piece of paper. Are you serious?”

  “It’s not going to work.” She shook her head. “There are too many obstacles and we aren’t even married yet.”

  Kerry covered her face with her hands and groaned as if in agony. She pulled her hands away and jumped up from her seat. “This is nonsense.”

  “No, it—”

  “Yes, it is, and you damn well know it.” She huffed out a breath. “Do you love him?” She stared at her friend, daring her to lie.

  “Yes.”

  “Do you believe he loves you?”

  Avery swallowed. “Yes.”

  “Does he make you happy?”

  “Yes.” Avery lowered her head, linked her fingers together and studied her bare feet.

  “Do you know how lucky you are? You have a man that adores you, a family willing to make you a part of it—something you’ve never had. Not only does that man love you, he’s smart, talented, gorgeous, sexy and rich.”

  Avery sniffed. She drew in a long breath, pursed her lips and released the truth that she’d been battling with for months.

  “There’s something I need to tell you...”

  Chapter 15

  Rafe was blind with hurt and fury. He tore through the streets of Virginia like a man possessed. Avery had no idea all that he’d given up for her, everything that he was willing to change for her. He’d opened his heart and his soul, something he’d vowed never to do again. He could have told her that the prenup wasn’t his idea and that he’d planned to confront his father. But why should he have to try to convince the woman who was supposed to love him that the man she’d decided he was could never be the man that he knew himself to be? No.

  He raced by an eighteen-wheeler to the blare of angry horns and screeching tires. He’d thought they’d gotten over the biggest hurdle thrown at them—Janae—or at least someone claiming to be her.

  Janae would have given him a chance to explain. Janae listened. She always listened. Avery... He pressed down on the accelerator, cut across two lanes of traffic and zipped onto the exit to downtown DC.

  He parked his bike in front of the only available space on the street. He looked up at the awning. Baldwin’s. He snorted a disgusted laugh at the irony—the beginning and the end.

  Rafe pushed through the doors of Baldwin’s and the quick flow of memories rushed at him. He went straight to the bar, determined to wash the images away.

  The club, generally packed in the evening, was loosely occupied with early lunch goers who flocked there for the midday slider special, which was fine with him. He wanted to be by himself but not totally alone. He knew how quickly he could sink into that dark place, and being at home with nothing to distract him would take him there via express.

  “What can I get you?”

  Rafe looked up. Pretty was his first thought. “Bourbon.”

  “Straight up?”

  “Yeah, thanks. Make it a double. Please.”

  He slightly swiveled his head to follow her movements. He felt like he knew her from somewhere but couldn’t quite recall. She returned moments later and set the short tumbler of bourbon in front of him.

  “Can I get you a menu?”

  He gave a short shrug. “Sure.”

  She reached beneath the counter and pulled out a menu. “Take
your time. Let me know when you’re ready.” She went to tend to another customer.

  Rafe lifted the glass to his lips and took a deep swallow. The liquid heat hit his empty belly like a splash of lava. He breathed in deeply, let the warmth flow through his limbs. He wrapped his hands around the glass and stared off at nothing in particular. The light chatter of the customers and activity of the staff faded around him.

  He’d truly believed that Avery was the one. After years of running, hiding from commitment after Janae, he was ready to let go of the past hurt and loss and begin a life with Avery. But even from the beginning, as much as he believed she cared for him, there was a part of her that he never seemed to reach. But he’d chalked it up to his own battle with personal demons. He finished his drink. Obviously, his instincts were right.

  He wasn’t sure what was driving the rage inside him: the idea that it was so easy for her to throw everything they had away, or the idea that she somehow believed the worst of him.

  Probably best. He signaled for a refill. Maybe Janae’s resurrection was more than bad timing, maybe... Naw, he wouldn’t go down that road. Until he put his own eyes on her, he couldn’t be sure of anything. That was the craziest part of this ugly day. Avery seemed willing to understand about Janae, and his need to see her, but was ready to toss everything out the window over a prenup that he had nothing to do with.

  “Here you go. Ready to order?”

  Rafe’s dark gaze lifted to settle on her face. Recognition nipped around the edges, but would not come full bloom.

  “I used to work with Bailey at the Meridian,” she said with a knowing half smile. “Addy. I worked your grandfather’s birthday party last year with her, too.”

  Rafe snapped his fingers. “That’s where!” His smile slowly dissolved. The night he met Avery. “Was racking my brain trying to place you. What are you doing here?”

  “Got married six months ago and we moved here for my husband’s job. He teaches at the University of Virginia.”

  “Nice.”

  “How’s Bailey?”

  “She’s great. Saw her last week, when I was back home.”